Navigating one of life's big transitions? See it as a transformation!

June 20th, 2022

Ann Collins

We're 6 weeks away from packing up our life in Belfort, France after 11 years and moving back to Bedford in the UK. It turns out that being able to help others to make big transitions and transformations does not necessarily mean that the path is clear and straightforward for a coach! Change isn't easy... big life decisions go against our brain's default to want to protect us from potential danger and the unknown.

My first reaction has been to dive into the "to do" list: selling and buying property and the logistics around moving. This is all a bit of a rollercoaster but not that difficult, but what I find hard is saying goodbye to friends and wondering whether this is a "good decision" for me and my family. Will we be able to create a life we love again? This is the end goal!

Leaning into that uncertainty has required me to reflect (again!) on my values: what does it mean to me to create a life I love? Coming back to this first principle is so important and is helping me to keep grounded when in a potential state of flux. I am using a couple of great coaching questions over and over again: when have you done this before? What strengths did you use then and can draw on now?

This is an easy resource to draw on having lived and worked in Germany, Nepal, Zimbabwe, France and the UK and even if the context is different (moving with teenage children in tow brings another element!) I have the evidence to show myself that we can as a family adapt, settle and establish a new life within a matter of weeks.

I also know that there is mourning to be done of a life that I love here which is built around the amazing people we have become friends with (which has been the case for me every single time I have moved) but with that comes the knowledge that I can do it again. We can create another life that we love. We can transform.

Knowing that having great relationships with people are one of my core values helps me to make my "to do" list for this transformation: simply making plans to be able to connect with others in our new place.

Of course, the myriad of other practical tasks have to be done, but keeping the end goal clear and my personal values at the centre, means that I'm feeling good, my energy is high and the "to do" list runs itself! Leaning in and embracing the transformation to come is the key.